There's weird rules among guys, like 'touching a frog means coming of age'

[jump_isforkids]

I haven't had a job in 6 weeks now.

I haven't read "Jump" in 2, seeing as my wallet is emptier than a tired housewife's smile.

Maybe I should stop reading it.

Maybe.

...

*some time later, Gintoki is standing in front of the castle entrance, holding up a sign that says

WILL SNARK
FOR FOOD

Comments

[theysaidiwasmad.livejournal.com]

Are you even trying?

[jump-isforkids.livejournal.com]

I worked really hard to make this sign, you know.

[theysaidiwasmad.livejournal.com]

That's cardboard.

[jump-isforkids.livejournal.com]

I almost died sneaking it from the garbage. That prinny had DEATH written on its face. I escaped with minimal wounds, but I don't think I'll ever be able to sleep peacefully at night again. Those two beady eyes will haunt me until Death mercifully takes me from this mortal coil, and I can finally sleep for eternity with all the Jump to read and parfaits to eat that I could hope for.

Yup...I worked really hard to make this sign. *dramatic gaze into the distance*

[theysaidiwasmad.livejournal.com]

I feel honored for being in the presence of the thinnest tissue of deception ever created.

[papercranelover.livejournal.com]

Oh my, the economy in this Netherworld is so bad that it has come to this?

How horrible...

[jump-isforkids.livejournal.com]

Actually I'm just a lazy bastard, but sure, economy, yeah.

KILL THOSE BANKER BASTARDS! HOW DARE THEY GIVE OUT SO MANY LOANS WITH LOW INTEREST RATES. WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET THANKS TO THE STOCKBROKERS!!

[papercranelover.livejournal.com]

I must apologize to say this, however... you are aware that we already are in hell, right?

[jump-isforkids.livejournal.com]

It ain't Hell unless I see Nobunaga sitting on a pile of hundreds of bloody corpses. Don't you study history?

[papercranelover.livejournal.com]

Of course I studied history, the only one studying history harder than me in our Netherworld was, of course, my lady.

However, no Nobunaga was mentioned. Was he a prinny, by any chance? If so, that might be why. Most of the don't last too long.

[darkmastern.livejournal.com]

Oh! You look so hungry! I think I may have some health snacks with me if you would like some!

[jump-isforkids.livejournal.com]

No, you see, when you see a sign like this, that says "Will ___ for food?" That means that I'm looking for a hand-out. Money, kid, money.

But eck whatever gimme the healthy snacks as long as they're not bitter

[darkmastern.livejournal.com]

*She starts rummaging around through her stuff*

Oh, well shouldn't you say "For Money" instead of "For Food".

*She procures a small bag of "Dehydrated Dragon Rinds" and hands them to him*

Here you go!

[asshatoverlord.livejournal.com]

The hell is a Snark? Some kinda kid's show?

[jump-isforkids.livejournal.com]

No! SHUT UP! IDIOT! Pay attention!

I'm snarking, there. See? Now give me food. Or rather, money. That's my ulterior motive.

[asshatoverlord.livejournal.com]

Who the hell is gonna give you money for you yellin at em and stuff!?

[37thdefender.livejournal.com]

Down on your luck are you? Well.. I say you should join ol Captain Gordon and DEFEND the Earth!! HAHA! Theres Pizza involved!

AND Hot Babes!

[jump-isforkids.livejournal.com]

Sorry, I prefer staying unaffiliated.

...How the hell are you going to defend the Earth from this rotting hole?

[37thdefender.livejournal.com]

HAHA! As a professional DEFENDER of EARTH! I assure you I can properly defend my home planet from anywhere in the galaxy!

[orange-renge.livejournal.com]

You're pretty good with the metaphors there.

[jump-isforkids.livejournal.com]

It keeps me occupied, at least.

[orange-renge.livejournal.com]

Whatever works.

[jump-isforkids.livejournal.com]

Oy, Kurosaki.

Lend me 20HL? Com'on, we're like blood brother comrades by now. Eh? Whaddya say? I'll pay back in interest!

[orange-renge.livejournal.com]

...Sure, fine.

[hateuallsomuch.livejournal.com]

You know there's no way that's gonna work, right?

[jump-isforkids.livejournal.com]

Eh, what? Did I just hear something? Oooh nevermind it was just the wind. Who'd want to talk to an ASSHOLE LIKE ME. Oh woe is me, I'm all alone in this world...!

Mother! Mother, you can hear me right? OH, how I miss you and your delicious plum rice balls that were so sour I cried every time I took a bite! HOW I LONG TO TASTE THEM ONCE MORE.

[hateuallsomuch.livejournal.com]

... Yeah, you know, you make a good point. Why the hell am I wasting my time talking to you?